Mailbag time!
>"Only four spots are available on the Astros: one starting pitcher, two catchers and a backup infielder who can play shortstop and second base. Abercrombie, an outfielder, and Johnson, a third baseman, probably won't make the cut..."
Well that sucks.
There's nothing to say about this. Just take a look at the roster and say "theres only one starting pitcher spot available." Don't worry, that puke taste in your mouth won't last too long. I feel like we're in the movie Major League, and Rachel Phelps is trying to move the team to Miami.
Imagine reading and then having to answer this question:
>"According to early reports, Russ Ortiz looks good. If Ortiz can get close to his 2004 form and makes the rotation, how much better do you think the staff is and who do you think will be the odd man out?"
I wouldn't want to. I would respond: Have you ever played 5 card draw poker? This is your hand: Jack of Hearts, 9 of spades, 7 of clubs, 5 of diamonds, and 3 of spades. Draw four... No. Fold. It's time to think longterm, and I would use the "bandaid" metaphor thing... but we aren't using bandaids anymore. The bandaid was falling off and now we are just duct taping the bandaid back on over and over.
>"...but I can see him pitching beyond the three years remaining on his contract. Oswalt doesn't care about stats or the Hall of Fame; he just wants to win a World Series. If the Houston's farm system indeed is back on track and churning out the Major League talent by then, and the Astros again are perennial playoff contenders, I think Oswalt might stretch his career out longer than he thinks he will..."
I love me some Roy. He's a great pitcher and he's doesn't care about much other than winning. He could have gotten more money somewhere else with his last contract. He could be out there whining and bitching about how our team resembles a pick up softball league team (zing!). He's not that guy. He's simply a bad ass.
I also share Footer's opinion on the matter of Roy hanging it up at the end of the contract. Somehow we build a team that is capable of winning more than half our games, he'll stick around.
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3 comments:
I will continue reading in a moment. Your first paragraph stopped me. This team is exactly like real life Major League -- so instead of funny and awesome, sad and depressing with no hope of anything save abject fail.
The thought of cardboard cut out Drayton McClane with pieces of clothing removed for each win is particularly awful. Fortunately, there won't be many of those.
'Russ Ortiz looks good. If Ortiz can get close to his 2004 form and makes the rotation'
That's a bold damn absurd fucking statement. What fool motherfucker would think Russ Ortiz might suddenly become Russ Ortiz vintage 2004? His ERA the last 3 years: 5.51, 8.14, 6.89. Unless he's in touch with a really good chemist and suddenly developed a work ethic, Russ Ortiz's best years are behind him.
http://houston.astros.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090306&content_id=3927810&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb
'6. Roy Oswalt: "It's fascinating seeing how players from other countries scratch themselves."'
The only funny one was:
9. Curtis Granderson: "Japan has one of them crazy robot shortstops."
Also, to entice Roy to stay around, I would offer him baseball's first all tractor incentive based contract. One win, one big ass fucking tractor and a John Deere hat. And throw in tickets to Jeff Foxworthy.
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