Hold your balls!

Its the TRADE DEADLINE BITCHES

Griffey to Sox. My friend is a white sox fan. Fuck him. I don't see where he fits in, and hes basically Richie Sexson now. Grade this a 4.

Pudge to Yankees. Fuck you Pudge. Fuck you Tigers... You get Farnsworth for a hall of fame catcher? God I hate the Yankees.

Manny (this is a maybe by the time I posted this) to Marlins, Jason Bay to Red Sox. I don't even know what to think of this. Manny has been being gay for a while now, not trying and bitching out of games. But you don't replace Manny. Even putting Jason Bay in there is like taking away Lance with the Astros and replacing him with Aubrey Huff. Manny in Florida... Well I guess that adds power in there.

LaTroy Hawkins (35 years old, designated for assignment by the Yankees) traded to who? The Astros? what for? Another 22 year old minor leaguer who was still a good prospect? Really? Have they ever done that before?

Ron Artest to Rockets.

I hated this deal at first. Really really hated it. But now that I really sit down and look at the upside to this, it could work out. Our defense could be pretty lockdown tight, and Ronron can score if he needs to. We have our legitimate 3rd threat. Too bad that is all a fucking dream when Tmac goes down in like game 12 and Yao goes down in like game 28 and Artest gets pissed because we suck and fights all the police outside the lockeroom.

And Vernon Maxwell comes out of nowhere and stabs someone!

/tired of typing randomly

Most annoying division rivals.

Here's my list from 5 to 1.

5. Cardinal Fan
Yes we know you won the series in '06. Great. Stop coming to Astro games and annoying the piss out of me.

4. Maverick Fan
Fuck your city right in the ass, friend. Congratulations on having the absolute worst owner in professional sports. Enjoy always believing you are competitive when in reality you are not.

3. Spur Fan
Thanks Spurs. You know what you have done? You have no Mexicans on your team, but you sure did give them a shitload to be cocky about over the last decade or so. So much that it bleeds into my city. So much that I sit next to these fuckers all the time at my favorite watering holes and listen to the cocky motherfuckers mouth off about how bad ass Manu is. YOU MEAN THIS GUY? Fuck him.

2. Titan Fan
Where do I begin? How about the fact that you fuckers have just about as many fans in Houston as you do in Tennessee. I'm starting to believe that Vince Young was more of a marketing ploy towards Houston than an actual quarterback pick. Now you have 2 generic fans around here.

1. Angry that the team moved fan, yet still follows them like they are still in the fucking dome.

2. Retarded football fan who liked Vince Young enough to be a fan of a team that is over 800 miles away, instead of a team that plays on Kirby.

Now Titan fan. You get on our sports radio stations, and scream and yell about things that we do not care about. The team is 857 miles away from Houston. I'm pretty sure the Baltimore Orioles are not a big sports topic in Toronto, Canada.

1. Cub Fan

I don't need to explain this. You brainwashed wastes of human flesh are ruining this planet.

"McHenry County authorities say three Chicago Cubs fans face felony battery charges after allegedly beating a Chicago White Sox fan so badly he lost his right eye. The men are accused of beating 32-year-old Robert Steele of Gurnee during a 2-year-old girl's Sesame Street-themed birthday party. Police said Monday the men were drinking alcohol at the July 19th party and taunting Steele."

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/chi-080728-cubs-sox-fight,0,4148340.story

/cynicism

Our First 'show'

Went pretty good I would say. I wasn't out there listening to it, but we had a lot of praise. I did fuck my solo up during our second to last song and I was really pissed. After we were done I start drinking hard. Then we decided to do a drunk set, during which I fucked up the solo again and went apeshit crazy flipping tables over and such. Dumb and retarded, no more vodka for this guy.

Wednesday rant

When's the last time the Astros finished last in their division? 1991.

How many times has that happened in the history of the Astros since 1965? 3 times.

We are well on our way to the fourth time.

I know one thing that Drayton hates, is losing people in those stands. We here in Houston are pretty fickle when it comes to going to games. I'm not too eager to go spend a bunch of money watching dog shit. Big market teams can handle it, Houston cannot. Maybe circling the toilet is good for the team. I just wish someone would put the words 'farm system' into his ears.

Who doesn't like home grown talent? Biggio... Bam, everyone loved him for 20 fucken years. Hunter Pence? He's not even getting talked down upon having the mediocre year he is having. Carlos Lee, Tejada, Kaz Matsui? Who are these guys again? Traded to us because we have gullible GM's? Oh. Ok.

I'm really fucking excited about football season. I'll most likely be single for the first time during football season in like 4 years. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do with myself. Saturday and Sunday full of football? Lord, I plead with you, don't allow myself to become an alcoholic.

Texans... Well, what can you say. Maybe we are playing in the toughest division in football. Close call since the NFC east is pretty beastly aslo. I'll give it to them for trying to be competitive. Atleast we're not the Cardinals.

Texas Tech is 50-1 to win the national championship... FUCK THAT. If they even sniff the big 12 championship I will go to Lubbock and throw a puke bomb into the students dorms.

I've been listening to alot of "metalcore." I don't know what that means really, but August Burns Red, As I lay Dying, All that Remains, and Bullet for my Valentine have some really kick ass guitars. Is it called metalcore because its a requirement to have a band name that is a sentenc?. (Fail Warning: Our band is named 'Down To The Middle'. This wasn't deliberate, it was a sentence spouted out in a car.)

Big party this weekend. Excited to play in front of people for the first time. Excited to hear alot of musicians play. Excited to see what Adam and the Keysers have come up with in their 17 year hiatus. Too bad you live so far away Jonathan, it's probably going to be pretty kick ass.

/wednesday rant off

Another favorite list.

Favorite Geetars!

5. Ibanez RG7321 7-string

RG's in general, but I have no need for yet another 6 String with a floyd rose, so I would prefer the 7-string. B-standard tuning! Seriously. Power.

4. Schecter C-1 Hellraiser w/ Floyd Rose. I own this guitar, and its awesome. Affordable, Powerful, and its pretty as hell.

3. Dimebag's Confederate flag Dean ML. I really don't need to say anymore. Guitars were scared of Dime because he made them his bitch.

James Hetfield's signature ESP Explorer. Win. Alot of people would think the diamond plate was overdone, but shit I would rock THE FUCK OUT OF THIS GUITAR!

1. Zakk Wylde's Signature "Bullseye" Gibson/Epiphone Les Paul. I will own both the Gibson and Epiphone models one day. Yes. Yes I will.

Josh Hamilton. Jesus? Zeus?

?

Rate him:
Is he Jesus: Vote 1
Is he Zeus: Vote 2
Is he only a Demigod: Vote 3
Is he someone who happened to have great skill regardless of what drugs he's taken in his life and just so happened to "find religion" and supposedly have a dream about competing in the home run derby: DO NOT VOTE FOR THIS ONE IT IS WRONG! HE IS JESUS!

Don't you agree? Jesus is the only one (who is burdened with human arms) to launch a ball into the Yankee Stadium seats 28 times in the first round of the home run derby. I'm serious. I saw it on baseball-reference.com. Therefore, if my middle school algebra is correct, Josh Hamilton = x and Jesus = x then x = x and Josh Hamilton = Jesus.

Insert Gender At Work

Across Atlanta they stood, orange signs with black letters that read "Men At Work" or "Men Working Ahead."

Sometimes, the signs stood next to women working alongside the men.
Good demanded Atlanta officials remove the signs and last week, Atlanta Public Works Commissioner Joe Basista agreed.

Score one for gender equality, Good said Wednesday.

"They get it," Good said about the city in a telephone interview.

Public Works officials are replacing 50 "Men Working" with signs that say "Workers Ahead." It will cost $22 to cover over some of the old signs and $144 to buy new signs, said Public Works spokeswoman Valerie Bell-Smith said.

http://www.ajc.com/gwinnett/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2008/07/09/men_working_signs_atlanta.html

Appparently, this is not a joke. Way to go cunt. Noble fight! Also... The Spanish signs all over town that I can't read... thats kind of offensive to me. Of course, I say that... and I'm automatically labeled a racist.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible idea.

Album thingy idea from Donovan @ DC

http://dookie-cigar.blogspot.com/2008/07/cool-idea-from-av-club.html
An album from each year you were alive.

1983 - Metallica - Kill 'Em All: enough said
1984 - Van Halen - 1984: Hot for teacher? Panama? RIP Old Eddie.
1985 - Slayer - Hell Awaits: This is the audible version of any Rob Zombie horror movie.
1986 - Metallica - Master of Puppets: What can I say... Me likes the 80s Metallica.
1987 - Guns N Roses - Appetite for Destruction: Slash! Before he was a tool!
1988 - Metallica - To Live is to Die: ok ok ok enough with the Metallica... This is my favorite album of all time.
1989 - Nirvana - Bleach: Can you feel my love buzz?
1990 - Tough to decide... Can I have 2? Megadeth Rust In Peace and Pantera Cowboys from Hell
1991 - Pearl Jam - Ten: When we all wanted to mumble like Vedder
1992 - Rage Against the Machine - Self Titled: Hall of famer. Would sit in the cd player on repeat for days.
1993 - Nirvana - In Utero: Was that Kris on the CD with all the girls underwear on? I don't remember its been forever.
1994 - Soundgarden - Superunknown: Yea!
1995 - Alice in Chains - Self Titled: I did like Mellon Collie from the Pumpkins around this time also.
1996 - Sublime - Sublime: One of the ones I ruined playing so much. I see that the Cake album everyone and their mom had came out in 1996, just for a notable mention. Rage - Evil Empire also.
1997 - Bone Thugs N Harmony - The Art of War: I can still jam some Bone Thugs every now and then
1998 - Kid Rock - Devil Without a Cause: This one hurts to say. What can you do? The 1998 version of myself was a Dbag.
1999 - Rage - The Battle of Los Angeles: Rocked.
2000 - A Perfect Circle - Mer de Noms - Cop out pick.
2001 - System of a Down - Toxicity:
2002 - Audioslave - Self titled: Man this CD sucks to me now, but I was so happy to have this band at the time.
2003 - The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium: This was more of something I listened to later. I didn't even know about them until 2005, but this album was fucking awesome.
2004 - Killswitch Engage - The End of Heartache: *headbang*
2005 - Coheed and Cambria - Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness: Epic
2006 - Bullet for my Valentine - The Poison: This was released in 2005, but didn't really make it to the U.S. until 2006. Anyways, the riffs and solos are fucking awesome.
2007 - I don't know if I just limit my music exposer now, or everything just sucks. The only album that really didn't depress me was the first album of Hellyeah entitled Hellyeah. It's good, but shouldn't be listed here.
2008 - Metallica album suppose to be released in September this year. If this is any less dissapointing than St. Anger, then it will be in this spot.

Dear lord that took forever.

Do you know what this is?

This is me. Getting my fucking ass handed to me on Nintendo's RBI Baseball.

This is Jason throwing a PERFECT GAME in one of those most ridiculously crafted baseball games ever. I've score 20 runs in an inning before. This is the first perfect game I've ever seen. Hell its the first no hitter I've ever seen. God damnit. I fought my way back up through the losers bracket after this... only to play Jason again in the semi's and he then throws a 2 hitter. Beats me on a NOLAN RYAN TRIPLE IN THE EIGHTH - 1-0. 18 innings... 3 total runs for both teams. Fucking Nintendo.

Random Ramblings. Wednesday Edition.

Lebron loves Brooklyn?
That'll kill the speculation.

Link

I really enjoy watching New York fail after trying to buy every free agent that is available.

Yankees - Largest payroll... Suck.
Knicks - Huge payroll... they still have scrubs and suck.
Giants/Jets - The NFL is better at free agency buying.


Jeter is talking up Chacon and wants him in a Yankees uniform. I guess, maybe they have a relationship from when he was on the Yankees. However... Why the fuck would you want him? An ERA on the wrong side of 5 with a very bad habit of throwing way too many fucking pitches. That is pitching for the Astros. He lost his starting spot on the worst starting rotation in the history of the fucking world. Actually, fuck New York... Pick 'em up!

Brad Lidge update: 1-0 / 33 innings in 33 games / 19 Saves / THREE EARNED RUNS (0.82 ERA) / No home runs given up (This is fucking July 2nd) / 44 ks to 15 walks / 1.061 WHIP

You asshole, you couldn't figure this shit out last year?

Went to the Astros game last night. What can you say? Watching Jeff Kent hit a game winning home run in the 11th was pretty bitter tasting. However, the streak of "witnessing someone get smacked in the fucking face by a foul ball" continues onto year 2. Can't wait until next year to see if we can make it 3.

I'm trying to find a Wii... These things have been out for nearly 2 years, yet they are sold out everywhere still? How is this fucking possible. I used to have one, and I sold it... stupid me.

Today's unofficial sponser brought to you by random junk mail quote "Tight wet slit and ass double reamed outdoors racedoor"